How to Tell if a Long-Distance Relationship Is Serious?

Couples Coaching Online
Long-Distance Relationship
7 min readJun 1, 2021

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How to Tell if a Long-Distance Relationship Is Serious?

You find yourself in a long-distance relationship, and you’d want to know if it’s serious. But, don’t know how to find out.

Here’s how to tell if your long-distance relationship is serious:

- You are talking and messaging regularly to each other.

- Both, you and your long-distance partner are making an effort to visit each other as often as you can.

- You share common interests and want the same thing from your long-distance relationship.

- You’ve talked about moving in together.

- You have a plan and a timeline on how long the long-distance relationship will last before you move in together.

- You have the willingness and the means to move in and live together.

Long-distance relationships are a great way to meet new people online or to maintain an existing relationship if you have to be away from your partner for a little while.

When you are starting a long-distance relationship online, you meet a lot of people. With some people, you get on better than others.

When you find someone with whom you have a common interest and enjoy spending time together, you can build a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships can be either romantic relationships or friendships. In a romantic relationship, you might be looking for something casual, or you may want to have a serious relationship and potentially build a family together.

When you are starting a long-distance relationship online, it’s good to know what you want from this long-distance relationship. Once you know what you want, you can find someone who wants the same thing.

Let’s say you are looking for a serious long-distance relationship with an idea of moving in together when you find the right person. When you get to know someone online, you have to see if they are also serious about your long-distance relationship.

How to Know if Your Long-Distance Partner Is Serious?

A serious long-distance relationship involves commitment, common goals, and an effort to achieve these goals.

One way to know if your long-distance partner is serious about a long-distance relationship is by the amount of effort and time they are putting into making your long-distance relationship work.

Suppose you want to have a serious long-distance relationship. In that case, it’s not enough to talk about moving in and living together. A serious long-distance relationship means making an effort and having the means to make it happen.

You know your long-distance partner is serious about your long-distance relationship if they are making an effort and spending the money to visit you.

Your long-distance partner isn’t serious about your long-distance relationship when all they do is talk about things. If all they do is tell you how much they wish to be together without actually making an effort to get there, then you know they’re not serious.

You know your long-distance partner is serious about you in a long-distance relationship when they demonstrate their love and affection towards you.

People express their love and care in different ways. Some people send gifts; others would buy tickets and come for a surprise visit.

Signs that a long-distance relationship is serious

  • You regularly talk and message each other.
  • You make an effort in spending money to visit each other as often as you can.
  • You have common interests and enjoy spending time together.
  • You share life goals and make an effort to achieve them.
  • You have a plan and timeline for your long-distance relationship until you move in together.
  • Your trust each other and can talk openly and freely about your feelings.
  • You are ready to commit to a serious long-distance relationship with an idea of living together.

Signs that a Long-Distance Relationship Is not Serious

  • You talk to each other occasionally.
  • You visit each other only when you feel like it.
  • Only one of you is visiting all the time.
  • You don’t have any plans for your long-distance relationship.
  • You don’t consider moving in and living together.

Even if your long-distance relationship isn’t serious, doesn’t mean it cannot work. You can enjoy each other’s company and have fun together. You can visit each other when you want and talk to each other when you feel like it.

When your long-distance relationship isn’t serious you’re not committed to each other, so you can see other people.

If your long-distance relationship isn’t serious at the moment, it doesn’t mean that it can’t develop into a more serious relationship later on.

When Should You Make a Long-Distance Relationship Official?

Let’s say you started a long-distance relationship with someone you met online. You spent a few months getting to know each other and a few more months visiting each other.

By this time, you should have an idea of whether or not you are compatible to create a serious long-distance relationship. You know your long-distance relationship is serious if both you and your long-distance partner have a plan and a timeline to move in and live together. Not only that, but you also have the means and are making an effort towards it.

The moment you decide that what you want is to live together and have a full romantic relationship, that’s when you can make it official.

Making your long-distance relationship official means sharing your intentions with your family and friends. You may also decide to change your Facebook profile status.

The most important thing you can do to make your long-distance relationship official is to share the desire to commit to each other.

To have a healthy and successful long-distance relationship, you have to have trust and understanding. Your commitment has to come from your love and care for each other.

How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Official?

Here are the steps on how to make your long-distance relationship official:

  • Make sure you trust each other.
  • Be comfortable sharing your feelings openly and honestly with each other.
  • Agree on short-term and long-term goals for your long-distance relationship.
  • Make a realistic plan to move in together.
  • Set your plan in motion and have a timeline for how and when you will be able to move in together.
  • Check that both of you have the means for moving.
  • Live together for a couple of months to check that you are still happy with each other at the end of it.
  • After you’ve lived together for a while and things are going great, you can share your commitment with your friends and relatives.

Conclusion

The key to a successful long-distance relationship is sharing a common goal for your relationship with your long-distance partner.

As long as you are clear on your expectations from this long-distance relationship, you can make it work and have fun together. To have a healthy relationship of any kind, you have to trust each other and be able to express your feelings freely.

If you have a casual relationship, that’s great, as long as both, you and your long-distance partner are happy with it. Suppose one of you want a serious relationship and the other one a casual relationship. In that case, things can get complicated very quickly. If this is the case, it may be worth to consider a temporary break up or end your relationship altogether. Otherwise, you are risking heartbreaks.

You can tell if your long-distance relationship is serious by answering these questions:

  • Do you talk frequently?
  • Are you sharing your feelings?
  • Do you trust each other?
  • Are you honest with each other?
  • Do you see each other frequently?
  • Do you have a plan to move in together?
  • Do you have common interests?
  • Do you have similar life goals?

If you discover that you and your long-distance partner want different things, it’s better to find someone else who wants the same type of relationship as you.

Need an LDR Coach?

  1. Send me a message and describe your situation
  2. I’ll get back to you with some thoughts & ideas
  3. We’ll arrange a video call to discuss your relationship in more detail

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if a long-distance relationship is serious?

You know your long-distance relationship is serious when you are ready to move to a different place to be with the person you love.

How many months until a relationship is serious?

It would be best if you spent a couple of months getting to know each other online and then a few more months visiting each other. If you consider living together, try to move in for a couple of months to see if you’re still happy together. And if after all that you are enjoying each other’s company, then you can make your long-distance relationship official.

How do you know if a long-distance relationship is serious?

Your long-distance relationship is serious if both you and your long-distance partner are spending the money and making an effort to visit each other. Talking about moving in and living together isn’t enough. You should have a clear plan, a timeline, and the means to make it work.

How do you know if someone is serious about you in a long-distance relationship?

You know that someone is serious about you in a long-distance relationship if they are making an effort, and spending the time and money to visit you. You know your relationship is serious if you have a common goal and are working towards it together. Having a serious relationship means both of you care for each other and making an effort to be together.

How Healthy is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

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